This wasn’t his first time. Whoever killed Sabina Nessa – and we know a man has been arrested on suspicion of murder – it wasn’t his first time hurting or intimidating a woman. Of that, we can be more or less certain. Because, as writer and campaigner Jamie Klingler said in an interview with the… Continue reading It’s never the first time
“Nature abhors a vacuum, and society abhors a woman on her own”, I tweeted drunkenly and loftily in October 2020, and honestly, I stick by it. Our society is not built for the uncoupled, and no one is made to feel this more acutely than women who are mostly single, by choice or otherwise. Over… Continue reading Is single positivity good for women?
You can judge a society by what it accepts as ‘normal’ and whose truths it takes at face value, I think. What it doesn’t see as particularly remarkable, or out of the ordinary. Who, when they speak, it decides to automatically believe, and who it chooses to doubt and interrogate. We started the week of… Continue reading What we accept as normal
I know someone who does not kiss on a first date. It’s a shameless and transparent ploy, because he tells the woman at the start of the evening that he doesn’t kiss on a first date, effectively setting up a challenge. I assume he has to play this game to concoct the frisson that other people… Continue reading Boring in bed: on sex, desire & vulnerability
Whenever I go and stay with my parents, I always find Betsy on my bed. Betsy is a toy rabbit I was given on the day I was born – though by whom I have forgotten – and who, thirty years on, remains just about in one piece. Her little pink dress is long gone,… Continue reading In defence of clutter
This is the story of a band that could have been. I hated music lessons at school. You know – the compulsory classes, often on a Friday afternoon, where you had to learn what crotchets and minims are, and play things on Casio keyboards. Someone would always manage to trigger one of the pre-loaded backing… Continue reading Where it all began
The roses in Preston Park are nearly all gone, and I feel slightly bereft. I only found out what roses smell like a couple of months ago, you see, and I’m still dizzy with joy, high on their heady sweetness. I grew up in a family of keen gardeners; when they talked about the unmistakable… Continue reading Fragrance notes
It feels kind of embarrassing to say, ‘yes, I enjoy drinking, actually’. To state it as a fact, no qualifications or caveats. It feels a bit dirty, a tiny bit shameful. We’re not supposed to just straight-up like it. We’re supposed to water down our desires like whisky, put limits on our appetites. Drinking seems… Continue reading Everything I know about drinking
I wrote recently about dating – or more accurately, the sheer relief of not dating – during lockdown, and the following came out of delving further into that. It’s been interesting to see what happens when your habits and routines are upended, hasn’t it? The things you carry on doing, and the things you abandon with… Continue reading Who says you’re attractive?
Remember how exciting it used to be – when we were younger, and less measured about such things – to discover an emerging band or artist that sounded like they were making songs just for you? And how much of a thrill it was to finally get your hands on their debut album, after weeks… Continue reading The fourteen-year wait