Criminal heart

You can admit to a lot of things from behind a screen and a keyboard. You can disclose weird and inappropriate crushes, your most self-sabotaging habits, your pettiest rage triggers and the most niche of kinks. You can confess to, say, an addiction so toxic and devastating, you sold your first-born to facilitate it. And… Continue reading Criminal heart

Choose your camp?

A few days ago, I became one of those awful people who starts a conversation with a stranger on public transport. Ordinarily, I’d say there’s a circle in Hell reserved for these shameless types, but sometimes you overhear a morsel that’s so gosh-darn up your street that you’ve chimed in before you’ve realised what’s happening.… Continue reading Choose your camp?

Behind closed doors

Hello, people I’m related to. Sorry about this. I’ve never had sex, ever, but please feel free to not read on anyway. In the summer, I went to one of the events Caitlin Moran did to promote her latest book, How To Be Famous. And something she said that night, during some chat about the #MeToo movement,… Continue reading Behind closed doors

So much left to do

Sometimes I like to play a little game with myself called, “What would a world designed by women look like?” (I know; I’m great fun at parties.) The first things that jump to mind are always fairly minor inconveniences, like high shelves and heavy doors. Shop space designed by women would surely bring the higher… Continue reading So much left to do

Squad goals and Cool Girls

  If Rule 34 of the internet is “if you can imagine it, there’s porn of it”, Rule 67 must be “if you are a woman who openly admits to having mostly male friends, you will cop shit for it, with or without your knowledge”. Actually, this isn’t limited to the internet, but I’ll get… Continue reading Squad goals and Cool Girls

On skincare and sanctimony

Drummer Boy and I once had an argument about skincare so fierce that once we’d calmed down, we had to agree to never discuss the topic again. It began when I mused – innocently, I thought – aloud, “I probably know more about skincare than you, to be fair,” and ended with us shouting at… Continue reading On skincare and sanctimony

On mixed signals

In the 2012 film Mud, the eponymous hero – played beautifully by Matthew McConaughey – utters the line: “a boat in a tree – hell of a thing, ain’t it? A hell of a thing.” A hell of a thing. “Mixed signals” – hell of a phrase, isn’t it? It can mean whatever the person… Continue reading On mixed signals