It’s never the first time

This wasn’t his first time. Whoever killed Sabina Nessa – and we know a man has been arrested on suspicion of murder – it wasn’t his first time hurting or intimidating a woman. Of that, we can be more or less certain. Because, as writer and campaigner Jamie Klingler said in an interview with the… Continue reading It’s never the first time

Is single positivity good for women?

“Nature abhors a vacuum, and society abhors a woman on her own”, I tweeted drunkenly and loftily in October 2020, and honestly, I stick by it. Our society is not built for the uncoupled, and no one is made to feel this more acutely than women who are mostly single, by choice or otherwise.  Over… Continue reading Is single positivity good for women?

What we accept as normal

You can judge a society by what it accepts as ‘normal’ and whose truths it takes at face value, I think. What it doesn’t see as particularly remarkable, or out of the ordinary. Who, when they speak, it decides to automatically believe, and who it chooses to doubt and interrogate. We started the week of… Continue reading What we accept as normal

It’s not about her health

I am a reasonably thin woman and every ‘news’ story of a celebrity losing weight feels like a tiny betrayal. That sounds mean-spirited, doesn’t it? It sounds like an ugly way to live. Especially since I couldn’t give a toss what the people I know and love weigh. It just doesn’t occur to me to… Continue reading It’s not about her health

The myth of “ready”

  One of the only cheering pieces of news to have caught my attention in the last month was Natalie Imbruglia’s announcement that she has both signed a new record deal and is having a baby on her own, using IVF and a sperm donor. (It is barely three weeks since Boris Johnson became our… Continue reading The myth of “ready”

One of the guys

I don’t watch Love Island, but round at a friend’s last week, I caught a bit of it and frankly, it just caused me considerable distress. I’m perfectly capable of mustering up enough heartbreak in my own life; I have no desire to watch other people being hurt in the name of entertainment. But while… Continue reading One of the guys

Low-maintenance

I have a friend who teaches boys how to kiss. Not as a job, you understand – but if she’s dating a guy and doesn’t like the way he kisses, she will tactfully put him right. I’m not sure of her exact methods (it would be weird if I’d witnessed this, let’s be honest) but… Continue reading Low-maintenance

The greatest adventure

Recently, I’ve stopped looking at men. When I’m pottering round the Lanes at the weekend, on the bus to work, or in the park with the dog, it’s not men that catch my eye. Sure, I can still clock a stylish pair of glasses on a whippet-boned face at twenty paces – like the most… Continue reading The greatest adventure

Call it what it is

  I wish they’d just be honest, you know? I wish the 25 Alabama senators who voted to pass a bill effectively banning abortion could just be honest about their reasoning. Because of course, they say it’s about protecting the unborn child. Protecting a potential new life. They turn it into an argument about defending the… Continue reading Call it what it is