It’s never the first time

This wasn’t his first time. Whoever killed Sabina Nessa – and we know a man has been arrested on suspicion of murder – it wasn’t his first time hurting or intimidating a woman. Of that, we can be more or less certain. Because, as writer and campaigner Jamie Klingler said in an interview with the… Continue reading It’s never the first time

What we accept as normal

You can judge a society by what it accepts as ‘normal’ and whose truths it takes at face value, I think. What it doesn’t see as particularly remarkable, or out of the ordinary. Who, when they speak, it decides to automatically believe, and who it chooses to doubt and interrogate. We started the week of… Continue reading What we accept as normal

Boring in bed: on sex, desire & vulnerability

I know someone who does not kiss on a first date. It’s a shameless and transparent ploy, because he tells the woman at the start of the evening that he doesn’t kiss on a first date, effectively setting up a challenge. I assume he has to play this game to concoct the frisson that other people… Continue reading Boring in bed: on sex, desire & vulnerability

Where it all began

This is the story of a band that could have been. I hated music lessons at school. You know – the compulsory classes, often on a Friday afternoon, where you had to learn what crotchets and minims are, and play things on Casio keyboards. Someone would always manage to trigger one of the pre-loaded backing… Continue reading Where it all began

Everything I know about drinking

It feels kind of embarrassing to say, ‘yes, I enjoy drinking, actually’. To state it as a fact, no qualifications or caveats. It feels a bit dirty, a tiny bit shameful. We’re not supposed to just straight-up like it. We’re supposed to water down our desires like whisky, put limits on our appetites. Drinking seems… Continue reading Everything I know about drinking

Who says you’re attractive?

I wrote recently about dating – or more accurately, the sheer relief of not dating – during lockdown, and the following came out of delving further into that. It’s been interesting to see what happens when your habits and routines are upended, hasn’t it? The things you carry on doing, and the things you abandon with… Continue reading Who says you’re attractive?

The fourteen-year wait

Remember how exciting it used to be – when we were younger, and less measured about such things – to discover an emerging band or artist that sounded like they were making songs just for you? And how much of a thrill it was to finally get your hands on their debut album, after weeks… Continue reading The fourteen-year wait

On love and panic

I woke early this morning – who’s on a healthy sleep schedule these days, anyway? – and looking for something quick and digestible to read, stumbled across this New York Times opinion piece. And it needled me more than it should have done, possibly because I had a conversation with a friend a few days… Continue reading On love and panic