Boring in bed: on sex, desire & vulnerability

I know someone who does not kiss on a first date. It’s a shameless and transparent ploy, because he tells the woman at the start of the evening that he doesn’t kiss on a first date, effectively setting up a challenge. I assume he has to play this game to concoct the frisson that other people… Continue reading Boring in bed: on sex, desire & vulnerability

Where it all began

This is the story of a band that could have been. I hated music lessons at school. You know – the compulsory classes, often on a Friday afternoon, where you had to learn what crotchets and minims are, and play things on Casio keyboards. Someone would always manage to trigger one of the pre-loaded backing… Continue reading Where it all began

Everything I know about drinking

It feels kind of embarrassing to say, ‘yes, I enjoy drinking, actually’. To state it as a fact, no qualifications or caveats. It feels a bit dirty, a tiny bit shameful. We’re not supposed to just straight-up like it. We’re supposed to water down our desires like whisky, put limits on our appetites. Drinking seems… Continue reading Everything I know about drinking

Who says you’re attractive?

I wrote recently about dating – or more accurately, the sheer relief of not dating – during lockdown, and the following came out of delving further into that. It’s been interesting to see what happens when your habits and routines are upended, hasn’t it? The things you carry on doing, and the things you abandon with… Continue reading Who says you’re attractive?

The fourteen-year wait

Remember how exciting it used to be – when we were younger, and less measured about such things – to discover an emerging band or artist that sounded like they were making songs just for you? And how much of a thrill it was to finally get your hands on their debut album, after weeks… Continue reading The fourteen-year wait

On love and panic

I woke early this morning – who’s on a healthy sleep schedule these days, anyway? – and looking for something quick and digestible to read, stumbled across this New York Times opinion piece. And it needled me more than it should have done, possibly because I had a conversation with a friend a few days… Continue reading On love and panic

It’s not about her health

I am a reasonably thin woman and every ‘news’ story of a celebrity losing weight feels like a tiny betrayal. That sounds mean-spirited, doesn’t it? It sounds like an ugly way to live. Especially since I couldn’t give a toss what the people I know and love weigh. It just doesn’t occur to me to… Continue reading It’s not about her health